When your ex starts dating someone else
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You get to be the one who made rainbow cake with them or first showed them Arrested Development or whatever made your relationship special. There are four different scenarios you might be dealing with when there is another woman on the scene. Easy you prime more value than you did when you were dating. In fact, its actually more of a understand why your ex is contacting you so you can have the insight you need to understand him and hopefully help you get him back. It is tough if you are still hurting from the break up, but you need to wake up and look at things with right perspective. They just need help getting over you - and they think that being in another relationship will do the trick. It is quite common that during the mud-slinging period that your ex-boyfriend will print you, that his new girlfriend dislikes you or does not like him talking to you. Every time you experience a negative reaction to your ex dating, stop and go through the list of. Yep, his ex girlfriend. A Frightening Example Imagine for a moment that you and your ex jesus dated for five years. I would like to start by saying that in this made up example your ex boyfriend is the one breaking up with you. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature.
Your ex boyfriend appears to be happy with his new girlfriend yet he still ends up contacting you behind the scenes. First though, I think its important that we really take a look at your situation. The Situation You Are In This guide assumes that you and your ex boyfriend have broken up and he has moved on to another girl. What I would really like to explore is the reasons why he may potentially talk to you when he has another girlfriend and believe me when I tell you that there could be a lot of different reasons for that. Of course, the assumption I am going to make about you is that you probably want your ex boyfriend back in this instance because lets face it, you came to my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery. In fact, its actually more of a understand why your ex is contacting you so you can have the insight you need to understand him and hopefully help you get him back. I am going to take an in-depth look at each of these reasons and describe how they will help or hurt your case to get your ex boyfriend back. Lets do that now! Reason One- He Has The Grass Is Greener Syndrome You know what the is right? For those of you whose memories may be a little foggy on what it is allow me to give you a quick crash course. The GIGS grass is greener syndrome can also work negatively in your favor if the new person he dates exceeds the standard that you set. Still a little confused as to how GIGS works. Ok, lets put this in the perfect context for this guide. Lets say that you and I dated and had a pretty decent relationship. Of course, I end up breaking up with you and moving on to a new girl. This is a perfect example of the grass is greener syndrome working in your favor. So, what do I mean when I say that one of the reasons that an ex boyfriend could contact you when he has a new girlfriend could be a result of him having the grass is greener syndrome? Well, its quite simple really. Lets say that during your ex boyfriends new relationship he begins to compare it to his old relationship with you and determines that his old relationship was better than his new one. Well, he is going to think back to that and miss it. It is that comparison, that feeling of missing some aspect of his old relationship with you that is going to cause him to want to reach out to you. Does Him Having The GIGS Help or Hurt Your Case To Getting Him Back? If your ex boyfriend reaches out to you because he misses you or has a serious case of the GIGS I would say that it definitely helps your case in getting him back. Now, does it mean you will get him back? Not necessarily… It helps yes, but you have to realize that it is going to take more than him reaching out to you for you to get him back. Reason Two- He Wants To Make You Jealous Breakups are a very hard thing for anyone to go through. Yes, I am insinuating that your ex boyfriend could be seriously hurting inside after the breakup even if he was the one who initiated it. Men often have very unique reactions to breakups. Some will close themselves off from the world building a wall around themselves that prevents anyone from getting in while others take the opposite approach and go into hardcore party mode letting everyone in. With this guide we are focusing specifically on one reaction, a man who goes out and gets a new girlfriend. What Is Going On Inside Of His Head If He Tries To Make You Jealous? I feel that I am at my best when I give examples or made up examples to illustrate my points so that is what I am going to be doing here. A month goes by and he meets a new girl and starts dating her while you are still reeling from the hurt of the breakup. When you hear that he has moved on your first reaction is pretty normal for this type of thing. You are hurt, angry and saddened. Then one day out of the blue your ex boyfriend contacts you and starts talking about how happy he is in his new relationship and how his new girlfriend is the best thing that ever happened to him. It is apparent that he is trying to make you jealous of his new relationship. Secondly, why in the world would he do this? Why would he say these things to you? I would like to start by saying that in this made up example your ex boyfriend is the one breaking up with you. As a result, if a man broke up with you then he might hold some resentment against you because you pushed him to a point where he had to break up with you. I know it is a really weird way of thinking but that may be what is happening here. Now, why am I focusing so much on the man breaking up with woman as opposed to the woman breaking up with the man? In this particular situation, a lot of men who make women jealous are doing so from a place of hurt or anger. To them, its like a warped way to get payback. On the flip side, if a man broke up with you then that motivation for jealousy might be a little harder to locate I located it for you above though. This brings us to the million dollar question, what does it mean for your chances of getting your ex boyfriend if he attempts to make you jealous by rubbing his new relationship in your face? Does Him Trying To Make You Jealous Help Or Hurt Your Chances To Get Him Back? When it comes to this type of stuff I like to look at things in a very logical manner. I take a good hard look at a persons actions as opposed to what they are saying. Lets do that with the made up example I gave above. Already forgot the example we used above? Your ex boyfriend breaks up with you saying he no longer feels like he did at the beginning of the relationship. Within a month your ex boyfriend meets someone new and starts dating her. After this your ex boyfriend very quickly messages you and attempts to make you jealous of his new relationship. Lets break this example up into three parts and dissect it. In other words, this action taken by your ex is not really helping your chances of getting him back at all. Part 2- Within a month your ex boyfriend meets someone new and starts dating her. This is another action indicative of someone who is trying to move on. While moving on in a month may be too fast for most men there are some cases where this would be an acceptable amount of time. For example, if you and your ex only dated for a month or two. Part 3- After this your ex boyfriend very quickly messages you and attempts to make you jealous of his new relationship. This is where things start to get really interesting because the actions your ex is taking now by contacting you and trying to make you jealous are indicative of someone who is clearly not over his ex. When you have completely moved on from someone you will have no desire to rub things in with them. Reason Three- His New Girlfriend Is Pushing Him Away I want to tell you a really interesting story about a friend of mine. A few years ago my friend told me something shocking… He told me that he was thinking about leaving his current girlfriend to get back with his ex girlfriend. Why was this shocking to me? Of course, I am fascinated by human behavior so I decided to pick his brain as to why he was considering leaving his current girlfriend to get back with his old one. I thought insert his current girlfriends name made you happy? Apparently his new girlfriend was pushing him away. She was constantly flirting with other men. He actually told me a story about a time that he took her on a date and she texted the entire time while on the date. She had told him that she was just texting friends but he later found out that she was texting another guy with some very flirty text messages. She was also not meeting his physical needs. In fact, he is just a very sexual person and one of his prerequisites for dating is that the girl he dates has to have a similar sex drive to him and while his current girlfriend seemed great at the beginning she would hardly ever sleep with him after a while and this bothered him a lot. While his ex did have her faults she never flirted with other men on the level that his current girlfriend did and she definitely made sure his physical needs were met. His current girlfriends behavior really pushed him away and made him unhappy so where do you think he turned? Yep, his ex girlfriend. Could He Just Use You To Feel Good About Himself? Well, in order for most men to be happy they have to have those needs met. So, oftentimes a man can revert back to an ex to get those types of needs met. Now, I am actually not talking about physical needs so much here though there are cases where that happens. More often than not a man will contact an ex with hopes that she will meet some of his emotional needs. Usually it starts off with a man venting to his ex about how bad his current relationship is going which can look something like this, So, when you look at the message above what do you think an ex boyfriend would be trying to accomplish by venting about his current relationship to you? Well, there are a couple of things that he could be doing here. Thing One- He wants to vent about his frustrations with his current relationship and trusts you enough to listen to him. Thing Two- He knows that you have the ability to make him feel better about the situation. So, in other words he wants you to make him feel better about the situation and maybe raise his self confidence a bit. If Your Exes Girlfriend Pushes Him Away And He Contacts You Does It Help Or Hurt Your Chances? Lets think about this very logically. If you are extremely happy in your relationship do you contact your ex? The logical answer is no. So, when we put our logic hats on and when we look at a situation where your ex boyfriend is unhappy in his relationship and he contacts you as a result of that then that is definitely a good sign if you want him back. Let me put this in another way for you to understand. An ex boyfriend who is having trouble with his current significant other is a more likely to leave her and come back to you than an ex boyfriend who is doing great with his significant other. Of course, after the breakup he immediately moves on to someone else. The only problem now is that he has moved on and appears to be happy in his relationship with his new girlfriend. You decide to move on and forget your ex boyfriend since it is a lost cause and just when you think you are ready to turn the corner and be free of your feelings for your ex you get a text from him that looks like this, What does it mean? All of a sudden out of the blue your ex texts you? Is he trying to get back with you? Is he unhappy in his relationship and looking for reassurance from you? Does he have the grass is greener syndrome? Nope… Turns out, some men just like being friendly with their exes with no extra intentions other than being friendly. Are Most Men Friendly With Their Exes? I have a bit of a confession to make. In fact, I never have and I have to say that when I go by my own experience in this life it is rare to find a man that is on really good terms with his ex. Which I suppose is good news for if you are trying to win your ex boyfriend back. Think of it like this. I am a guy and I have had friends of the opposite sex and let me tell you have I never done any of the above with them. However, every once in a while you will get a guy who just wants to be friendly for the sake of being friendly after a breakup and it is important for you to recognize the signs to decipher if your ex is doing this to you. What are some of the signs? Signs Your Ex Is Just Trying To Be Friendly With You I think its important to remember that we are focusing in on a specific situation here. If your ex boyfriend contacts you when he has a new girlfriend. Study your exes new relationship and determine if he is really happy with his new girlfriend. If your ex is extremely happy with her then it could be possible that he was just reaching out to you to check up on you and be nice and he has no intentions of things progressing further than that. The next thing that I think you should take a look at is his past romantic history. How did his breakups go? Were they knock out, drag out fights where he completely cut his ex out of his life? A lot of figuring out if your ex is just being friendly is going to revolve around your own knowledge of his personality. So, make sure you put your thinking cap on here. Is It Good or Bad For My Chances Of Winning Him Back If He Is Just Being Friendly? It is definitely NOT GOOD for your chances if your ex is just being friendly. I mean, the whole reason he is just being friendly towards you is just to keep the peace or maybe he is just a nice person like that. Reason Five- He Wants Sex Disclaimer- I have decided that I am going to be brutally honest about what men think about sex for you ladies in this section. Some of what I say may definitely disturb you so I just want to give you a heads up before I get going here. Sex is an incredible motivator for a man. Sex makes us all a little crazy to be honest. Sometimes that crazy translates into good and sometimes it translates into bad. For example, some men will grow extremely attached to the woman that they sleep with. The will commit to her like no other and love her until the day they die and in a weird way it can all be tracked back to sex or the love that these men have for their women as a result of sex. This would be an example of the good kind of crazy that leads to life long commitments and happy endings. Now, the bad kind of crazy is what we are going to be looking at exclusively in this section. Want an example of the bad kind of crazy. You know how much I love giving examples right? Well, try this one on for size. A Frightening Example Imagine for a moment that you and your ex boyfriend dated for five years. We do the same stuff all the time and I need more excitement in my life. Around the six month mark you get a call from your ex and you notice that he is extremely flirty with you. Of course, then the flirting evolves into something else… something sexual. At first you are a little alarmed since he does have a girlfriend but your own feelings override your logic and you are just happy to be looked as a sexual being again. Pretty soon he is asking to see you and it is very apparent what is on his mind, sex. So, here is my question for you. What is happening here? A number of things could be happening. Maybe he compared her to you in bed and you won the comparison GIGS anyone? Maybe he is trying to set up a friends with benefits relationship with you. Whatever the case, the fact that he is willing to cheat on his current girlfriend with you is a major red flag. Lets take a step back for a second and look at his perspective for a bit. Particularly this friends with benefits idea. His Opinion Of Friends With Benefits With An Ex If everything works out in his warped world here is what will happen. He will continue to get sex from his current girlfriend while at the same time having you on the hook enough to believe in this friends with benefits idea so he can get sex from you too. To him having you on the side is a very attractive prospect. But why go after an ex? Why not make a new friend and set up a friends with benefits type of relationship with her? The answer is that it takes too long and that he is lazy. He already knows he has gotten you in the past. He probably assumes you still have feelings for him and he is manipulative enough to leverage those feelings to his advantage. To him you are just the easiest lay… Free On Demand Coaching But What If I Sleep With Him And He Leaves Her For Me? Ok, I want to make one thing abundantly clear. Any man who is willing to cheat on his current girlfriend with his ex which would be you in this case is not a man worth pursuing. I am not ruling out the possibility that he could leave her for you but in my experience this is extremely rare. Usually what happens is that the girlfriend finds out he is cheating on her, she breaks up with him and you are the logical choice to keep sleeping with until he can find another girl. I am begging you.
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